911… What’s Your Emergency


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I once knew a kid named Josh.
Josh called 911 one time because he lost his Scooby Doo DVD.
That’s one thing I remember Josh for…
his moment of panic.
Josh was was in kindergarten.

Panic.
It’s a terrible feeling, huh?

Last night… I experienced the feeling of panic.
Severe panic.

I was at the gym at an hour that I normally try to avoid.
I had gotten there at 4:30 pm…
I usually avoid this time due to the large amounts of people that
flood the gym as they get off of work at 5 pm.

As I was leaving the gym around 6 pm is when that feeling of panic hit me.
I knew where I had parked… that wasn’t the issue.
The issue was that I had forgotten which car I had driven to get to the gym.
So when I looked in the parking spot that I knew I had parked in and didn’t
see the car that I thought I had driven…. I PANICKED!

The key above is a picture of the key to my wife’s car.
It’s a Mitsubishi Outlander.
The black box is called a fob… its all you need to start the car.
As I noticed that my wife’s car was not at the gym…
I immediately looked at my keys.
No fob!

Now… the gym that I go to has lockers… but I’m too cheap to pay for one.
So I put my keys on a little counter while I workout.
A lot of people that are cheap like I am do the same thing.
So… as I looked at my keys and notice the fob is gone… the car is gone…
there is only one possible conclusion…
SOMEONE STOLE MY WIFE’S CAR!!!

Now stop for a moment and ask yourself…
“What do you do when your car has been stolen?”
“Who is your first phone call to?”

I knew who mine was and it wasn’t my wife…
it was 911!
When panic sets in and you think you have an emergency…
just like Josh did when he lost his Scooby Doo DVDs…
you call 911!
Okay… maybe if you’re 5 years old…
but not when you’re 34!!!

The 911 operator was great…
she asked me my name…
the kind of car it was…
the plate number…
then she said she would have someone out to the gym ASAP.
That’s supposed to ease the panic right?
It did NOT.

Then I noticed the trainer form the gym walk out to his car…
“Michael… you’ll never believe what happened! Someone stole my car!”
He said… “WHAT?!?!”
And right about that time…
I turn and look…
to see MY CAR!  Not my wife’s car!
I hit my lock button on my keys just to make sure…
only to see that tail lights light up
like the sky on the 4th of July!
Never had I been so relieved!
The panic was gone… except… OH SHOOT… THE COPS ARE COMING!
“Michael… do I call 911 again or just the police station?!?”
Michael gave great advice… “call 911!”
Here is my call log from my phone…
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Not one but two… 911 calls.
Notice the “9” that was dialed..
ya… that’s how fast I wanted to call 911 back
to tell them I had found my car.

Turns out the 911 operator wasn’t as excited to talk to me.
I started to tell her what a fool I was…
when she interrupted me to say…
“Adam… did you find your car… I’m on another call!?!?”
I said, “Yes, Ma’am.”
She said, “Bye” and hung up.
She didn’t have time for my stupidity.
That’s exactly what I want in a 911 operator!!!

At that moment I thought…
well… I guess I can just leave.
So I left and called my wife.
Which is when she said…
“Adam… if you ever think the car as been stolen again…
CALL ME FIRST!!!!”
Lesson learned, honey.

Since my moment of panic a thousand thoughts have gone through my head.
One thought has been… “Wow… you’re dumb.”
Something I say pretty often…
don’t worry… my ego can handle it as long as it comes from me.

The second thought is…
Adam… how do you really feel about humanity!?!?
Do you have no faith in humanity any more?
Is this the world I live in?
And so today… I pledge to humanity that I WILL have more faith in you!
I’m sorry for thinking you were capable of doing something so low…
At the gym of all places!

Finally… I think…Boy am I glad that cop never showed up!
Can you imagine if he had!?!?!
I’d never be able to set foot in that gym again!
But thank goodness… even if a police officer had shown up…
I believe grace would have won… because grace always wins…
and even though people may think I’m a bit silly…
they’d always welcome me in…
because that’s what grace does.

So today I wanna say this to my friend, Josh…
who is now in high school…
I know how you feel, bro.
Panic is a terrible feeling…
but thank the good Lord we have 911!!!

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911… What’s Your Emergency

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